My Skin is Not My Own

When I first started looking around the Internet and found that I wasn't alone in being a sissy, I was - needless to say - thrilled. But there was another aspect to it as well. There were (of course) tens of thousands of pictures of people like me doing things that were very stereotypically sissy-like. And of course I found these very arousing. They appealed to my submissive sissy side.

That lasted about three years until I "got my fill" of all of the sissy eye candy. Don't get me wrong - I love looking at pictures of sissies like myself doing things that are very sissy like. Most are certainly staged pictures, or the captions that accompany the pictures were added later for pictures that originally had nothing to to with being a sissy. But in my sissy mind, the captions still easily stretch to match the pictures. So I enjoy looking at them... A lot....

But as I said, I've moved beyond that to a place where I'm just comfortable being me. I think back to who I was BEFORE I acknowledged to myself that I was a sissy, and I now relate it to a line from the movie "Children of Dune" in which the protagonist says (several times) "My skin is not my own." Well, my skin was definitely NOT my own. Never way. Not until I was able to acknowledge who and what I really was. Then and only then did I feel "right" in my own mind. And I'm now much happier and less stressed because of it.

So what does this have to do with the pictures I mentioned in the first paragraph? A lot actually. I think those pictures depict an idealized, fantasy sissy lifestyle and not necessarily the one that many of us really live. I'd love to be able to do some of the things that I see in the pictures. I'd love to be able to dress like the sissies I see in the pictures. I'd love it if my beautiful wife M would treat me more like the sissy gurl I am in my own mind. I wish all of these things and more would happen all the time so I could be even more of a sissy gurl.

But at the same time, I live a very real life. I get up in the morning, have my coffee, get cleaned up, and go to work. At the end of the day, I take care of some chores around the house and (perhaps) relax a bit while reading. It sometimes happens that I read sissy-related or cuckold-related erotica, but more often you'll find me with my nose buried in a sci-fi book. And then when bedtime comes around, I go to bed and (often) just go to sleep because M is watching one of the mindless serial shows that she loves so much or has her own reading on her Kindle. It's easy to wear sissy things to bed, and I do so more often than not... Boring? Probably...

But at the same time, I know that I love M more than I can express. I love every second I spend between her legs licking her pussy. I know that she'll keep my clitty locked up because she only wants a MAN to penetrate her - not me. And I'm comfortable with the fact that MEN get to fuck my wife but I make love with her like a gurl - with my fingers and tongue. I'm comfortable with the fact that my wife keeps my clitty locked up in a steel cage because it makes me feel more like the sissy I am...

I can honestly say that since I acknowledged to M that I really AM a sissy - and not just a "fantasy sissy" - that our lives have changed a LOT. I think we spend more time talking about our feelings. I have no doubt that M is very concerned for my emotional well-being. We do little things for each other all the time that just say "I love you." I think I could say that we're trying very hard - and mostly successfully - to make each other happy. Maybe that's just because of where we are in our lives, but I think that it's also because my opening up about myself has eliminated one of the main causes of our relationship friction that existed before...