A High School Rite of Passage

In high school I didn't date at all during my first three years, and I dated only a little my senior year. Oh, the guys on my cross country team and my track team "hung out" with a group of girls who (for the most part) were also into high school athletics. But until my senior year, I never contemplated asking one of them out for a solo date. One thing I remember about myself at that time is that I was absolutely terrified of rejection. The thought of me asking a girl out and of her saying thanks but no thanks petrified me... Turned my knees to jello...

So I guess I compensated by trying to be nice to everyone. And I think I was. Along with being "confrontation averse." Avoiding confrontation is a big part of my personality - albeit a secret part - even today.

Finally, during my senior year in high school, an external event forced my hand... Prom... Growing up in the era that I was growing up in, it was unheard of for a guy to NOT ask a girl to go to prom... And to ask over and over again until you got an acceptance.

So I screwed up my courage and asked "G"... One of the girls I secretly pined over. I didn't know until later that another one of my classmates was also thinking of asking "G" to prom. She was two years behind me and (to my mind) an incredible beauty. Smart, outgoing, athletic, as tall as me, dark haired... In short, for a guy like me a wet dream.

And she said YES!

I was over the moon...

I spent a lot of time trying to make everything perfect for us as I got ready for prom...

For me, going to prom was rather anticlimactic. I picked up "G" and we had the requisite pictures taken both at her parents' house and at mine. Then we were off to the event. Standard rubber chicken dinner. Lots of songs spun by the DJ in a ballroom that (now, years after the fact) is evoked every time I think of the movie "Footloose." Being somewhat of a dweeb who had never done something like this before, I had no idea how to "dance" but somehow muddled through. I am absolutely positive that she thought of me as being in the "friend zone" and therefore "safe."

The night ended on a quiet note... No, I didn't even get to first base with her, to my disappointment. We remained friends after prom, but drifted apart. I still have the prom picture - this acne-faced kid with a shit-eating grin on his face, standing with Aphrodite... To this day, I think of her and I cannot help but wish her every joy and happiness. For just a short time, she gave them to me - at a time when I needed them so much.